Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way
Reposted: Memories of the Flickering City Lights
July 7, 2007i walked in zigzag as i tried to walk home with alcohol in my blood. it was forty past two during that cold dawn. as i tried to figure out the right path, i would pause to look then proceed. somehow, my eyes became so lazy and tired until my vision turned unclear. the light from the poles which are very far apart were weak - they would fade into the darkness until i’d reach another pole with yet another blurry light. i pressed on and slowly began to wonder where i was in my journey home. as i looked ahead, the dark road seemed to continue on, and the objects in the corners of my sight were strange and unfamiliar. i suddenly turned back to realize that i have lost my way.
i shook my head with hopes that my state of mind would normalize. the spirit was willing but my flesh was weak. i decided to a complete halt in the middle of that growing darkness of dawn. as i looked back, the lights from those poles flickered from seemingly far away. those lights then placed the memory back to remembrance of that night in
that night, we looked down to the movements below us as we held hands and planned for a future that i thought would come to pass. i remember so well the look on her face when, suddenly, tears bursted from her innocent eyes for a reason unknown to me - for a reason she said was not relevant.
i continued to gaze at those lights as they flicker - this time, on my weakened knees. i have lost my strength, and my heart felt too heavy. when i answered my phone earlier tonight, only then did i know why she wept during our stay in that hotel. she called me up just before she boarded the plane that would take her away never to return. i gently rubbed my eyes to wipe the tears away. my hope has deserted me, and i dont see us together in that future we planned while we looked down, with hands held together, to those city lights. it was just a lie.
i have turned my fears, my pain and my love into rage, as i forcefully lifted myself up. though the road ahead seemed blurry and endless, though i never knew where it would lead, i took brave and wrathful steps forward and slowly disappeared into the darkness…
5 months before……
after the heat has subsided, she told me to put my arms
around her and just embrace her until the sun would
peek from the horizon. and so i did. it was more than
just wonderful to have her with me. i was so happy and
yet slowly, i began to feel a little pain growing in
my heart. there was this tiny pinch that i felt deep
within me. i began to hum a song to put her to sleep, i was awake;
holding her close to me and i just watched over she as
she slept…
tears began to fall from my eyes and my voice shook
until i went through the last note. the pain inside my
heart has taken over me. it did hurt a lot to know that
when tomorrow would come, she would have to leave, go home
not knowing when we would see each other again….
