Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way
A realization
September 19, 2007
it has been a very long time since i last posted something here. i have been really busy these days and i barely even have time for myself. my work load now increased and im facing a new challenge in my career since i have just been promoted to a higher position in the company that i work for.
nothing very significant happened to me since i last posted an entry here. i have lived a very monotonous life these days, no adventures, no special events, no heart-warming love - just nothing but work. oh well, i go out with my friends as well, just to smoke and have some beer. and im tired… and lonely. i have everything i need, i lack nothing but one thing: the happiness that i felt when Patty was still mine. in the middle of my busy schedule, i would usually take a pause for a reason that is unknown to me. then i feel a certain pinch inside my chest and this tiny pinch grows into pain as i tried to figure out what it was for. i would just thrug it away and push through with the busy routine that i go through every single day.
today, the pinch came to visit me again. suddenly, it seemed to me like i was in the middle of an actively engaged crowd - lost and alone. in that very second i was able to ask myself why im busy, why im working, why im so caught up with what i do. i began to question what all this is for.
since the day i said goodbye to her, i focused all my attention and time on working, writing angry songs rather than love songs and went on with my life pretending that i never knew her at all. i just couldnt take the pain of letting go.
now i know what that pinch in my chest was about. now i know why im working so hard.
i miss her and i love her. but i guess i need to finally let go of the past and all the sweet memories of the only person that i truly loved. i know that i'll never love this way again.
Previous Comments
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Posted by lv at September 8, 2010, 1:30 pm
I understand exactly how you feel, my friend.
Posted by john at September 28, 2007, 9:12 pm