Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way
I Miss Him
February 22, 2008
home 
it has been more than three years since we last met. i remember seeing that happy guy last July 29, 2004. on that Wednesday morning, he greeted me with a very sweet smile and walked with me to school. he was very happy and it seemed as if he never ran out of reasons to laugh. he was really fun to be with, and i learned a lot about him during our walk together on that fine morning. he was truly an open book. he never hesitated to tell me things that i thought were quite personal and important to him. just before we parted ways, he was able to mention about a change that would happen to him. i never took it seriously, though.
the following day, i walked my way to school again expecting that he would be there to walk with me like we do everyday. strangely, i reached our school and he wasnt with me. it disturbed me a lot because this has never happened before. i looked for him everywhere but never saw him. until today, i still continue to walk to school alone.
everyday when i wake up, i remember him. i remember him as a very happy person. i remember his contagious smile and his bright eyes. i remember the way he would open up his heart, just to let me see who he really was, every morning. it never really mattered to him that i was asking so much about his life.i remember him as a hopeful, wonderful and magnificent guy. i remember him so well.
i never saw him after that fine Wednesday morning three years ago. i miss him so much.
i miss him - the person that i used to be.
Previous Comments
dwight,
u almost made me tear up just by reading your posts, particularly this one. i so can relate. strange but i sometimes feel as if im just a shadow of my former self. just like a ghost….
so, you’ve loved and lost. you’ve let go of her but not the memories. isn’t that the hardest part of a breakup? u knew u had to let go of her; it was inevitable. yet, u cant help revisiting the past from time to time just to be reminded of how good it felt then. at the same time, all these drama serve as food for your creative soul. a friend once told me, one can never be a great artist or writer unless he’s suffered. maybe true, or maybe that’s a really masochistic way of looking at things. 
leo
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Posted by zhang at September 8, 2010, 2:35 pm
Hey man.
You can always go back to being the way you were. It’s just that from the you of now and the you three years ago, your understanding of the world and people changed. Sometimes you really can’t do anything about it.
But if you do miss your old self that much then try and see how you can replicate your experiences, thoughts, and ideals again.
Though in my opinion it would be better if you could move on ahead and take with you whatever learnings you have of the choices that you made in life.
While you may not be the same person you used to be, at least you are living in the now and liking yourself, right?
My .02
If you found what I’ve said to be hopeful, do check my advice blog out and e-mail me if you have any questions or problems.
Posted by askgreg at April 9, 2008, 4:57 pm